Chapter 31: From Bitterness to Joy

Now, even if a person dwells at great length and in depth on the matters described above, for an hour or two, in order to become humble of spirit and broken of heart, and he comes to great sadness, he should not be concerned.

It is true that sadness comes from the side of kelipas nogah and not from the side of holiness. For about the side of holiness it is written, “Strength and gladness are in His place” (I Chronicles 16:27), and “The Shechinah rests only where there is joy … and so too for a matter of halachah,” and so on (Shabbos 30b). Only, if the sadness is over matters of Heaven, it comes from the good that is in nogah.

(That is why the Arizal wrote that even worry over one’s sins is fitting only at the time of confession, and not during prayer and Torah study, which must be with a joy that comes specifically from the side of holiness.)

Nevertheless, this is the way to subdue the sitra achra: with something of its own kind and likeness. As our Sages said, “From the forest itself comes [the handle of] the axe [that fells it]” (Sanhedrin 39b), and “He met one of his own kind” (Shabbos 121b).

About this it is said, “In every sadness there is a gain” (Mishlei 14:23). The gain is the joy that comes after the sadness, as will be explained below.

In truth, however, a broken heart and bitterness of soul, over the soul’s distance from the light of G‑d’s countenance and over its being clothed in the sitra achra, are not called atzvus (sadness) at all in the holy tongue. For atzvus means that one’s heart is dull like a stone and there is no life in his heart. But bitterness and a broken heart are the opposite: there is life in his heart, to be stirred and to feel bitter. Only, this life comes from the holy gevuros (severities), while joy comes from the chasadim (kindnesses), for the heart is made of both.

Sometimes one needs to arouse the holy gevuros in order to sweeten the harsh judgments, which are the animal soul and the evil inclination when they dominate a person, G‑d forbid. For harsh judgments are sweetened only at their root [see chapters 40 and 41]. That is why our Sages said, “A person should always stir up his good inclination [to anger against the evil inclination]” (Berachos 5a). This means: whenever he sees in himself that he needs it.

But the opportune time, the time that is especially suited for this for most people, is when he is sad anyway over worldly matters, or just sad for no reason. That is the opportune time to turn the sadness around and become one of the “masters of reckoning” mentioned above (chapter 29), and to fulfill the Sages’ words, “A person should always stir up …,” as mentioned. In this way he will also be rid of the sadness over worldly matters.

After that he will come to true joy. That is, after the true words said above, he should take the following to heart, to comfort himself doubly. Let him say to his heart: “It is true, without a doubt, that I am very far from G‑d, utterly far, and that I am loathsome and abominable, and so on. But all this is me alone, that is, the body with the animating soul in it. Yet within me there is a real ‘part of G‑d’, which is present even in the lowest of the low: the G‑dly soul, with a real spark of G‑dliness clothed in it to give it life. Only, it is in a state of exile. If so, on the contrary: the further I am from G‑d, and the more loathsome and abominable, the deeper in exile is my G‑dly soul, and the greater the pity on her. So I will make all my aim and desire to bring her out and raise her up from this exile, to return her ‘to her father’s house, as in her youth’ (Vayikra 22:13), as she was before she was clothed in my body, when she was absorbed in His light, blessed be He, and completely united with Him. And now too she will be absorbed in Him and united with Him, blessed be He, when I put all my aim into Torah and mitzvos, to clothe in them all her ten faculties, as mentioned above, and especially in the mitzvah of prayer: to cry out to G‑d in her distress, in her exile in my loathsome body, to bring her out of prison and attach her to Him, blessed be He.”

This is what is meant by “teshuvah and good deeds” (Avos 4:11, 4:17): good deeds that one does in order to return the ‘part of G‑d’ to its source and root, the source of all the worlds.

And this shall be his service all his days, with great joy: the joy of the soul as she leaves the loathsome body and “returns to her father’s house as in her youth,” at the time of Torah study and divine service [prayer]. As our Sages said, a person should be in teshuvah all his days (Shabbos 153a).

For there is no joy as great as going out of exile and captivity. It is like a king’s son who was held captive, grinding at the mill in prison and lying in filth, and who goes free, to the house of his father the king.

And even though the body remains in its loathsomeness and abomination (the Zohar calls it “the serpent’s skin”), because the essence and being of the animal soul has not been turned to good, to be absorbed into holiness, still, let his soul be more precious in his eyes than the lowly body, so that he rejoices in her joy, and does not mix up and confuse the joy of the soul with the sorrow of the body.

This is like the Exodus from Egypt, about which it is written, “For the people had fled” (Shemos 14:5). At first sight this is puzzling: why did it happen like that? Had they told Pharaoh to send them free forever, would he not have been forced to let them go?

But it was because the evil in the souls of Israel was still at full strength in the left chamber [of the heart], for their impurity did not cease until the Giving of the Torah (Shabbos 146a). Only, their aim and desire was for their G‑dly soul to leave the exile of the sitra achra, which is the impurity of Egypt, and to cleave to Him, blessed be He. As it is written, “G‑d is my strength and my stronghold, and my refuge (menusi, literally ‘my place of flight’) in the day of trouble” (Yirmiyahu 16:19); “My high tower and my refuge” (II Shmuel 22:3); “And He is my escape” (Adon Olam).

That is why, about the time to come, when G‑d will remove the spirit of impurity from the earth, it is written, “[You will not go out in haste,] nor will you go in flight, for G‑d goes before you” (Yeshayahu 52:12).

And for this teshuvah to be with greater force and greater strength, from the depth of the heart, and for the joy of the soul to come with added light and joy, let him take knowledge and understanding to heart, to comfort himself from his sorrow and grief, saying as above: “Indeed it is true, and so on. But I did not make myself. Why, then, did G‑d do such a thing: bring down a part of His light, blessed be He, which fills and surrounds all worlds and before which everything is counted as nothing, and clothe it in ‘the serpent’s skin’ and a ‘putrid drop’? It can only be that this descent is for the sake of an ascent: to raise up to G‑d the whole animating, animal soul, which is from kelipas nogah, and all her garments, that is, her thought, speech and action, through their being clothed in the action, speech and thought of the Torah. (This raising up will be explained later at length [chapters 35–37], and how it is the purpose of the creation of the world.) If so, then this I will do, and this will be all my aim all the days of my life: to devote to them the whole life of my spirit and my soul, as it is written, ‘To You, G‑d, I lift up my soul’ (Tehillim 25:1). That is, to bind my thought and speech with His thought and speech, blessed be He, which are the very laws set out before us, and likewise my action with the doing of the mitzvos.”

That is why the Torah is called “restoring the soul” (Tehillim 19:8), meaning, to its source and root. And about this it is said, “The precepts of G‑d are upright, gladdening the heart” (Tehillim 19:9).